I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
