i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
