If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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