NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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