The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize