My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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