I want to stick my p in your. b.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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