FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
