i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
