You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
