it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
