if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
