WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
