Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
