He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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