We won't sleep together?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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