There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
