I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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