so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
