Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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