I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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