you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
