At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
