My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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