Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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