Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
