I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
