His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
