i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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