We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize