How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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