I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
