arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
