I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize