What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
