Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
