I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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