sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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