You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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