Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
