sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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