why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
