who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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