we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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