i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
