Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
