I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You did what with his pubic hair?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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