I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
