its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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