You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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