I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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