covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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