i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
