That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
