This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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