i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize