She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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