I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
