Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
